Guide to Women: Part One

Hey guys, I know dating has been rough for everyone lately. So, I came up with a couple tips for the men out there to help you all out a little bit 😉.

Includes: tips on catching her attention, conversation tips and topics, date ideas, and how to end the night.


– Catching Her Attention –

We all know social media is the main form of communication these days. Meaning, you have to show you’re interested without being boring or creepy….through messaging. Bet. Try these, friends:

Messaging Tips

Tip #1: Don’t initiate the conversation with a compliment.

  • Complimenting too soon and/or overdoing it lessens it’s effect.
  • This includes “love/heart” emojis. Leave them out, until you know her.
  • Personality compliments go way farther! Again, get to know her first.


Tip #2: Don’t start the conversation with one word.

  • If the point is to catch her attention, “hey” doesn’t really do much.
  • You’re not giving her much to respond back to.


Tip #3: Before you hit send, type in complete sentences and check your spelling.

  • It may seem insignificant but it’s not. Don’t underestimate how alluring intelligence can be.



– First Conversation –

You don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including yours. Thus, your main goal here is to find out if your personalities are generally compatible. Try getting started like this:

Do’s and Don’ts

Tip #1: Don’t talk about yourself more than you are learning about her.

  • The message you’re relaying to her is: you’re only interested in her looks. Her personality doesn’t play much of a factor. Not smooth.


Tip #2: Listen and grasp the information she’s giving you.

  • Don’t just agree with or disregard what she’s saying. If she’s not the one for you, be honest with yourself.


Tip #3: If you want her to know something impressive about you, don’t just blurt it out. Reflect it on to her as a question, so she can ask the same question back.

  • Randomly throwing facts out there about yourself can come off as cocky and/or self-centered. Avoid that.


Tip #4: Avoid talking about insecurities.

  • Nice guys don’t finish last because they’re nice. If they finish last at all, it’s most likely because they come off as lacking confidence.


Tip #5: Secret Weapon: If you like her vibe, ask her if you can talk to her on the phone to continue the conversation.

  • It lets her know you’re intrigued by her and want to pursue that, without being over-the-top or weird.
  • It raises the bar for other men, because women don’t encounter this too often.
  • And, it’s really attractive.
    • Depending on how well the conversation has been going, it’ll get her excited to hear your voice.
    • It brings those old-school ways back; which we all miss, deep inside.


Take some time to figure out what general qualities you’re looking for in a partner and translate those into questions. Here are some examples:

  • What do you usually do for fun?
  • What’s your favorite thing to do in the area?
  • Do you drink/smoke?
  • What’s your favorite sports teams?
  • Do you like to travel?
    • What’s your favorite place to go?
    • What’s your favorite thing to do outside this city?
  • Tell me about your family.
  • What are some of your fears?
  • Do you have anything you’re looking forward to?
  • What are your plans for the next couple of months/year?
  • What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
  • What’s something you want to do but haven’t had a chance to, yet?
  • What’s your favorite food?
    • Is there any food you want to try?

{Hint: Talk about these on a phone call, rather than online.}



– Date Ideas –

Try to avoid staying home as much as possible. There’s a whole world out there, full of memories and adventures waiting to happen. Make it hard for her to forget you.

The best date ideas are going to be the ones you pick up from her responses to the topics you talk about. (Note: Date ideas are listed out below the examples.)


Question #1: What do you usually do for fun?

Answer: Anything involving being outside.

Options: Take her on a picnic, mini-golfing, batting cages, go-carts, walk around the lake/beach, etc.


Question #2: Do you drink/smoke?

Answer: Yes, to both.

Options: Depends on how often she does either one. Try and use your best judgement here.

Drinking: Go wine tasting, mini cookout at the park with beer/shots, take her out to a bar, bar hopping

Smoking: Hookah, smoke shop (pick out pipe), smoke and then do any of the listed date ideas 😉


Question #3: Do you like to travel?

Answer: Yes

Options: Take her on a mini road-trip (30-45 min. away)

{Once you get to know her, keep road-tripping farther out after each time. Eventually plan trips via plane.}


Question #4: What’s your favorite sports team?

Answer: “Insert Team Here”

Options: Depending on the sport/team take her to a game or find out when her team is playing and take her to a sports bar to watch the game


Question #5: Tell me about your family.

Answer: She has siblings, or she’s close with particular family members (ie. her mom)

Options: (After a couple of dates) Invite her family members to come with you guys somewhere fun, ask her what they like to do and if she wouldn’t mind them coming with

Date Ideas Listed:

  • Go-Carts
  • Shooting Range
  • Paint Balling
  • Adult Arcades (ie. Dave & Busters)
  • Mini-Golfing
  • Batting Cages
  • Mini Road-Trip (30-45min.)
  • Comedy Show (ie. Gabriel Iglesias)
  • Baseball, Basketball, or Football Game
  • Picnic
  • Cookout
  • Bonfire
    • Beach/Lake
  • Walk Around Park/Beach
  • Hike/Walk Park Trails
  • Drive-In Movie
  • Wine Tasting
  • Smoke Shop (pick out pipe)
  • Hookah
  • Drinks:
    • Bar Hopping
    • Pub Crawl
    • Wine Walks
  • Sports Bar (watch her fave team)
  • New Restaurant


  • Bonus Extras:
    • Find a building that allows access to the rooftop, bring blankets and snacks and watch sunset/sunrise.
    • Rent Moped(s) to ride around the downtown area when the weather is nice outside.
    • Search your area online to see if there are any local festivals/special events going on that she might be interested in.
    • Find a park, or parking lot, near the airport. Bring snacks and watch the airplanes take off.
    • Search online for couples classes you can take: ie. painting , dancing, or cooking.
      • Sur La Table – fun, cooking class, followed by fine-dining after.


Winter Edition – Date Ideas:

  • Sledding
  • Snow Fort/Snowman
  • Skiing
  • Ice Skating
  • Indoor Go-Carts
  • Adult Arcade
  • Indoor Rollerskating
  • Go to Movies


  • Bonus Extra:
    • If it’s around the holidays, see if there are any tours in your downtown area to ride around and see the festive lights.
    • For Brownie Points: include hot chocolate on all winter dates.



– Ending the Night –

Going with the flow is usually the best way to go; just keep in mind, the slower you take things the longer it’ll last.

If the date went smooth, to end the first night:

  • Give her a warm hug and gentle kiss on the cheek or forehead, for now.
  • If you didn’t drop her off, always ask her to let you know when she’s gotten home safely.
    • If she doesn’t text, this is one of the few times “double-texting” is appropriate. Shoot her a text asking if she made it.
    • If she does text, send her a very short text of how the date went, followed by a goodnight. Still no “love/heart” emojis, yet!
  • Go to sleep with a smile on your face. You got this! 😉


Tip: You don’t want to play hard to get, but you don’t want to be easy either. Be patient and let the sensual tension build between you two. It makes you a bit of a challenge, which makes you even more tempting.



Like I mentioned in the beginning, dating has been so rough lately for everyone; but I want you all to know it’s not broken, just misguided.

–  For the women losing hope in men: don’t. I promise you there’s an amazing man out there just waiting to give you everything you thought didn’t exist anymore.

{We just need a little guidance when it comes to effectively communicating our wants/needs, while also making sure we’re not settling for anything less than that.}

–  For the men losing hope in women: don’t. I promise you there’s an incredible woman out there just waiting to give you everything you want, need, and didn’t even know you needed.

{You all just need a little guidance on how to productively understand her wants and needs, while also making sure you’re not ignoring your own.}

Of course, nothing is black and white. There’s going to be colorful situations with unique solutions; but it all comes down to effort and communication, on both ends. If you’re not receiving what you’re putting in to a situation…..well that’s what I’m hoping to help you all with.


Stay tuned for my next blogs in this series 😘. And drop some comments below to share some of your experiences!

Need advice? Feel free to ask me here ❤️.

With love and great vibes,

-Kat B.

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