Kat💕Chat: Are They Toxic?

A hard truth I had to learn to accept in life was: no matter what you do, not everyone is going to be there for you the way you’re there for them.

It wouldn’t hurt to be aware of some red flags, before we sit there wasting our time on the wrong people, right?

Here are some guidelines to help you determine the types of toxic behavior to watch out for:

 

#1: The Complainer

The complainer is the type that wakes up on a beautiful sunny morning in a bad mood.

They often complain about simple things that you, or others, would normally overlook.

They find the glass is always half-empty, yet never really tries that hard to find a way to refill it.

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness! It is not your responsibility to make someone else happy. Which also means it’s not your fault when someone else refuses to see the bright side in life.

If they’re bringing you down, don’t feel obligated to keep them in your life. That’s not fair to you.

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#2: The Misleader

The misleader is the type that keeps you in the back of their pocket, but never fully makes much effort to make you smile.

This is the type that’s always unavailable when you feel you need them the most.

They make you feel stupid or crazy for feeling like you deserve more from them.

It is not your fault this person doesn’t act like they value you or your time.

This moment we are living in right now is all that’s guaranteed. And if in this exact moment, this person is not giving you what you deserve: Don’t hesitate to walk away from this.

Also, don’t allow anyone to make you feel like you need a “better” reason for walking away. We only have one life, fill it with the people that make you forget stress is even a thing. 😉

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#3: The Mole

This is the type that’s all ears for your insecurities, set-backs, and despair.

Yet, never seems enthusiastic about your goals, dreams, aspirations, or accomplishments.

They resent change, despite it being positive for you, because it might affect them negatively.

If you find yourself holding yourself back in any way, just to fit the pace of those around you, give yourself a break from those people.

If you’re not ready, you don’t have to cut anyone off completely; but give yourself enough space to spread your wings and grow. Life will naturally lead you in the right direction.

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#4: The Ricochet

This is the type that always deflects conflict/issues off of themselves and on to others.

They have a hard time taking responsibility for their words or actions, and often find excuses to blame others around them.

They will solemnly apologize, if ever, because they find no wrongs on their side of the argument.

No one enjoys taking responsibility for their effect on others, but it’s inevitable if we want to maintain healthy relationships and grow as individuals.

No one is perfect, but the ones that can admit where they went wrong and attempt to prevent it in the future, are the true keepers.

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#5: The Charlatan

This is the type that gives you “constructive criticism” on a regular basis.

They disguise their judgment through “concern” and “tough love”. There is such a thing, however, in excess it does more harm than good.

This is also the type that expects you to act a certain way but refuses to treat you with the same respect.

They have high expectations, yet don’t live up to them themselves.

If the criticism you’re receiving feels more like a blow to your confidence, you may want to reevaluate the critic’s position in your life.

Also, never let them make you feel like you’re not good enough. They’re just projecting their shortcomings on you.

Don’t allow yourself to fall in a situation where your expectations and desires come second.

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#6: The Smeagol

This is the type that is excessively jealous and/or possessive to the point where it keeps you from nurturing your relationships with other people.

They want you all to themselves and will get upset if your attention isn’t completely directed towards them.

They also feel threatened by anything else that makes you happy other than them, including your good news.

Honestly, these are the people that keep you from moving closer to achieving your goals and/or pursuing your dreams,.

Similar to The Mole, they don’t want change in the relationship, despite it being positive, because it can affect them negatively.

They’re not there for your happiness, but rather to keep you stuck in the same place they are comfortable in.

This is not love, this is the epitome of toxicity.

Poor little Smeagol isn’t cute, and neither is this type of behavior.

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Pep Talk:

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Anyone in your life can demonstrate toxic behaviors. Your boy/girlfriend, your friends, your family members, even new people you meet.

However, just as there are multiple types of toxic behavior, there’s even more types of healthy and loving behavior that everyone should experience!

You don’t have to stick around toxic people just because they don’t approve of you wanting more. You have the right to walk away just because you feel like it. The only person your reasons should make sense to: is you!

It’s always easier said than done. But within the same breath, why should you limit yourself or hold yourself back in life? Like I said before, you only have one! Make the best out of it by filling it with people who bring out the best in you. 💖

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As you all know, I’m always one click away if you ever need personalized advice, or even if you just want to vent 💖.

Feel free to send me your input, ideas, and stories! I’d love to hear them!

Click here to send me a message 😘.

-Love Kat B.