Kat💕Chat: Are You Ready For A Relationship?

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Hey loves, I wanted to take a break from my traveling series for a bit, only to shed some light on a broad topic I’ve seen so many people struggle with lately: Relationships.


For those of us late 80’s and early 90’s babies, we’re already at the age where most of our friends are getting married, having kids, buying houses, and so on. We’re already at the age where it’s time to break down all the mistakes we’ve made, extract the lessons, and apply them to our lives.

So, why the hell are we still so messed up when it comes to relationships?

Honestly, I don’t know when or where it started going downhill. But I do know that a whole new era can begin if we all start approaching relationships with a different mindset.

It all starts with pinpointing whether you’re even ready to be in a relationship right now.


Ask Yourself #1:

Why did my last relationship end? (If applicable, if not see #2 😘.)

First and foremost, remember you’re asking yourself these questions; this isn’t for anyone else but you, so now is the time to be as real with yourself as possible.

If you were at fault: that’s good; now you know what you can begin working on before your next relationship.

Emphasis on before, because it is not up to your next partner to “fix” you. No one should ever be held to that expectation. At the end of the day, the only one that can change you, is you. So, start getting it done.

If you weren’t at fault: that’s good too; try and pinpoint all the things that may have led to the break-up and reflect on things you could have done differently.

This isn’t necessarily to take blame for the way your ex may have mistreated you. This is more about generally taking responsibility for things you wouldn’t appreciate being done to you; in order to mature yourself. Remember, no one is 100% right or wrong in any situation.

Also, this helps with being more aware of red flags, and avoiding handling them the same way you did in your last relationship; hence things you could have done differently. This tip makes it so much easier to relay all that new-found information to your next partner.


 

Ask Yourself #2:

What are three to five things I enjoy doing by myself?

If you have none:

Right off the bat, if you are not comfortable alone, you are not ready for a relationship. Why? Independence teaches self-value. Being single allows you to become self-aware of your overall interests, likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses.

Without knowing that key information about yourself, you’re more prone to settling for less than what you deserve!

More often than not, relationships can hold you back from spending more quality time with your family, hanging out with your friends, and/or talking to new people and developing new friend/relationships. Yet, doing these things are what helps you narrow down what you’re really looking for in a partner, which is a huge key to building a successful relationship.

{Note: Being single does not have to equal being lonely! Like I mentioned above, make new friendships, catch-up with your current friends, make more time for your family. This is the time to encourage growth, not avoid it!}

If you have a couple, but not three activities, yet:

(A.) Ask your friends and family members what activities they like to do. At first, see if you can start going with them, until you’re comfortable enough to start going on your own.

(B.) Make a playlist, put your headphones in, and go out to run basic errands by yourself. Be aware of your surroundings and get involved in things around you that look interesting. (ie. public gyms, swimming lessons, dance classes)

(C.) You could also look online for non-group activities other people like to do for fun. Check around your area to see what local activities you can engage in.


Ask Yourself #3:

Are you truly happy with yourself?

Being happy with yourself and/or feeling confident about yourself in general is one of the biggest and most important accomplishments in life. In terms of relationships, without it, you cannot build a solid foundation.

A lack of confidence suppresses the best version of you. Think: how can you offer someone your “all”, if you haven’t even found what your “all” is, yet? You need to be able to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.

Just as learning how to be on your own helps you determine what your preferences are in a partner, being happy with yourself and having confidence is what’s going to land you the person you’re looking for.

How? For one, a self-confident person does not settle for less, because they know what they deserve; and anything less just naturally stops interesting you. For two, confident people attract confident, healthy, and loving partners.

Golden Rule: Be the person you want to be with 💕. You can never go wrong with that!


With that being said, you all know I’m always one click away if you ever need personalized advice, or even if you just want to vent 💖.

Click here to send me a message 😘.

Also, stay tuned for my next blogs in the “Blossoming🌸” and “Kat💕Chat” series:

  • Blossoming🌸: How to Love Yourself
  • Kat💕Chat: Are They Toxic?

-Love, Kat B.

 

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4 thoughts on “Kat💕Chat: Are You Ready For A Relationship?

  1. Wow…🙌👏 I love it!! GREAT advice. What you share here is very, very true. Keep up the great job My beastly bear. This can truly help a lot of people. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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